We've been back from our Utah vacation now for two months and it seems like a lifetime! So many things are coming together for our family.
First of all, I'm pregnant! I'm actually quite pregnant: 33 weeks. This pregnancy has been difficult for me. With Charlie, pregnancy felt novel and I was so excited that the downsides of pregnancy felt small. In addition, I had no reason to doubt Charlie's health and happiness. Anxiety about whether or not Charlie would be born healthy didn't exist and I didn't feel concerned about how my pregnancy would or would not contribute to his health. With this baby, I have had carried a lot of emotional weight. During the first trimester I stopped all my medications cold turkey. It was miserable and I started feeling depressed. I would have dreams about the baby beings born without skin or without arms or legs. I was nauseous and tired frequently but the hardest part was the hopelessness I felt. Thankfully, my emotional turmoil subsided during my second trimester and I got the courage to take some medications that eased some of my acid reflux, allergy, and emotional symptoms.
Unfortunately, my left foot was somehow injured and since I was about 16 weeks along, I've been in and out of a boot. My doctors think I should probably wear the boot until the end of my pregnancy because pregnancy causes swelling and loose muscles and nerves which is hindering my foots ability to heal properly. It's been difficult to not walk well and to experience pain in my foot as I grow bigger and bigger. I desperately hope that when my pregnancy is over my foot will heal so I can walk again without pain.
Covid has also caused this pregnancy to be difficult. Considering it is difficult to breath when pregnant even without wearing a mask, wearing a mask has made it more difficult and uncomfortable. On the plane ride to Utah, my face broke out in a rash that I haven't been able to get rid of. I attribute this to a combination of pregnancy hormones changing the sensitivity of my skin and the mask causing extra bacteria on my face. Again, I hope after this baby comes that it will heal properly.
Despite these difficulties, I am so excited for baby boy #2. Yes! It's a boy! I think Charlie will love having a baby brother. I feel him move all the time and I have had multiple ultrasounds where I get to see his little face and wiggles. I've done as much testing as I possibly could for this baby and so far, he seems healthy. I feel hopeful he will be an easy and healing addition to our family. Right now he is breeched but I'm hoping he flips on his own soon. We will see!
In other news, Scott matched! The Urology Program is incredibly competitive and only had a 74% match rate this year, so I am extremely proud of him. We will be moving to Lexington, Kentucky in June where Scott will attend University of Kentucky for training. Kentucky seems like a beautiful place to live and just the right change for us. We traveled there a few weeks ago to check out housing and get a feel for the area. It was a long drive but Charlie was a champ! We probably chose the worst weekend to go because it was the weekend of the severe cold front that caused Texas to lose power and heat for a week. In Kentucky, there was an ice storm and we were stuck in our Airbnb one night. All the blades of grass and branches on the trees were covered in a thick layer of ice! It was wild. It made traveling stressful and we didn't see as much of the city as we hoped, but we still loved what we were able to see. Also, we toured a house that we ended up putting an offer on and going under contract for! Scott and I can't believe we are buying a house! The place is beautiful and I hope everything goes through OK. The familiy we are buying from is an outgoing resident family that used our same realtor, so we were able to see their house before it got on the market. Since we need to move in the same day they move out, it works out perfectly for both of us. We are so excited about all the new opportunities that await us in Kentucky! By the time residency ends, Charlie will be 7 1/2 years old!
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with all the new changes coming. Particularly adding another baby into the family while Charlie still has so many extra needs. Though he is becoming more independent, he hasn't gained weight in over six months. The doctors are concerned and so Scott and I have been trying to persuade Charlie to take high calorie nutrient drinks and to eat more. We put him on an appetite stimulant which helps his appetite, but makes him a little crankier than normal. Charlie qualified for Food Therapy so I take him to that every other week. Each day Scott and I spend hours trying to persuade Charlie to take enough calories, but often he isn't interested. On top of that, Charlie developed a severe diaper rash that turned into a secondary strep/staff infection. It came about because we adjusted his laxative regime. We've been caring for the rash diligently with soak baths and creams and air drying time for over six weeks now but it continues to get worse, blistering and bleeding. Just this week we started him on some antibiotics and have to use wound care dressing on it and allow him to sleep naked. I sometimes wonder if we are having a second child too soon. Charlie is a two-person job already, how can I take care of him and a new baby all by myself?
Tonight, Scott and I felt the stress of Charlie's health needs and all the upcoming changes in our life. I asked Scott to give Charlie a priesthood blessing. Scott blessed Charlie that he would be able to heal from his rash and continue to be his happy self. He blessed Charlie that one day his bowels will heal and he won't have to deal with his GI and eating problems his entire life. When Scott said that, I burst into tears. Since Charlie has begun remission, his GI symptoms have been the hardest part of our daily lives. It wears me down to change an average of ten dirty diapers a day and to spend hours of mind-numbing time trying to feed Charlie without giving him negative emotional associations with food. I always hope that he will improve but it's hard to imagine when I spend so many hours a day taking care of symptoms from his treatment and spinal cord injury. The blessing helped me feel more hopeful. And even though this new baby will add more work onto my day, it is a blessing that Scott won't be in school and will have a few months before residency to help during my postpartum recovery.
There is so much going on, but day to day I see little things fall into place for us. I feel like God is watching over us. Charlie's walking skills have improved and keep improving every day! He is almost able to stand in place without moving back and forth for balance and he can squat and stand up now without falling. He hardly ever uses his walker anymore! Charlie doesn't even want to hold our hand to walk anymore, he wants to do everything on his own. God also helped us secure housing before the baby is born and Scott's schedule has been so relaxed we've been able to take care of Charlie as a team while I am so pregnant.
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